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VAMPIRES OVER BROADWAY or FRESH BLOOD LANA DIAMOND. Gorgeous 42, cancer survivor JOHNNY BLUE. Dashing, 46. Her husband, a recovering alcoholic VLADMIR. 58. A fierce Broadway director, King of the Vampires. HEADLESS WOMAN AND GREEN WRAITH. His assistant and vampire wife. MARILYN’S GHOST. 36. The spirit of Marilyn Monroe WITCHES-- Invisible good and bad ghosts and vampires Cavernous small theatre, Greenich Village, New York, dusk.
AT RISE: You talking to us-- VLADMIR (CONT'D) You're in call backs right, but this is like the middle of the audition for me. Me and my co-workers will put you through the paces. All night if necessary. Ha.Ready? (Vladmir waves and A HEADLESS WOMAN hands out forms.) DIAMOND Are we supposed to acknowledge her/that? BLUE Not politically cor-- VLADMIR (CONT'D) After the next round of cuts, 2 actors will remain. I'm looking for 1 boy and 1 girl. DIAMOND (hyper nervous) Always the diminutive. Wee. Tiny. (singing from Chorus Line) "Who am I anyway? Am I my resume?" VLADMIR, Quiet. I want to learn more about you, and so I'll ask you to sign these forms and introduce yourselves again more...rawly. Childhood, adulthood, diagnoses, sexual dysfunction. 1 BLUE Weird. Kinda VLADMIR (CONT'D) Remember. We can terminate your audition at any moment if we feel you're not taking it seriously. Anything you say may become part of the show and belongs to us. DIAMOND Would I really want it anyway? VLAMIR The structure today will be interview, love Scene, death scene. BLUE Death scene? DIAMOND (repeats, terrified) Interview, love scene, death scene. VLADMIR (romantic flirtatious) It should go quickly. No torture. I cut soon as I can. I'm a guy who can bite his finger, make it bleed and restore it at once. BLUE Wow. That's VLADMIR (CONT'D) The magic of theatre! BLUE Ooh...ah. VLADMIR (CONT'D) Ta. Ta! You'll witness the super human in this room because of our heightened sensory technology. Don't let it bother you. It's all VIRTUAL. Hahaha We're looking for fresh young blood. But one couple will be cast. Adam and Eve. Sw-e-e-t. Once you're chosen, they'll be a largesse of compensation. DIAMOND Could you explain the steps again? (trying to calm down) Are there sides for the scenes? VLADMIR No. Each step is a surprise because we want you totally in the moment. You are very beautiful. You are very beautiful. There are only a few issues to satisfy. (Exits) DIAMOND (Looks, to make sure Vladmir is gone desperate) My gut clenches at these theatre-- The word issues never rings well. DIAMOND (CONT'D) But we've made the last cut. BLUE Don't ask for anything. 2 DiAMOND Our bank account is down to $10. BLUE Right yep. DIAMOND But I'm personally not requesting DIAMOND (CONT'D) Say, give me a day to think. BLUE Everything discussed is about the role. DIAMOND Nothing is about me. BLUE Find out his issues so we can strategize. DIAMOND It's hard for me not to get any money for all this angst. BLUE DIAMOND That's tough. Because I feel this anxiety from him that he wants to focus on . . . something. (BELL RINGS. Blue and Diamond go onstage.) VLADMIR (calls out, vicious) Lets start with the girl. (To Blue) You, sit over there in case. BLUE In case? VLADMIR We need clarification. (harsh) Tell us your biological age, honey. BLUE (mouthing to her) Don't do it. Any age....It's Diamond. Before it was Lana. VLADMIR (CONT'D) Diamond. Ahaha like the r-o-c-k. You don't look like your headshot. DIAMOND Before--I was incredibly alive. 3 VLADMIR And your age? DIAMOND (scared, calls) What age were you looking for? OK. Tell us about yourself . . .Your EMOTIONAL HANDICAP. DIAMOND (CONT'D) Well I had breast cancer. VLADMIR Louder. HEADLESS WOMAN ONE OR TWO? DIAMOND (swallows hard) One. The strange thing is I didn't feel bad. VLADMIR Go on. Just had this nipple that wouldn't pop out. Ha! Ha!? (sinister) So you're ok with dying. That's important. (uncertain) Yes. No. I'm SURE I'll make it. Why give the role to you-- (Grasping desperate) Because you don't want to ...interrupt my delicate process of becoming a great artist.... Because you don't want to ...bring the pain of hell to me while I'm still alive?... Because you don't want ...me to starve myself, hurt myself, give up. Haha. Look! Acting is my protection against death. If I go to Broadway, I won't die. 4 VLADMIR (command) Be gone all. (Blue exits to wings) VLADMIR (powerful to Diamond) Follow me to Wardrobe. (traumatized awake) I don't see why I've to come here Pick three wigs. Unbutton-- So I can see your shoulders. I'm not undressing before you. VLADMIR Choose a wig. VLADMIR Why are your eyes expanding— (seductive, sad) Beauty is something very personal. No one is a better actress without hair. Hairstyle is chosen and when you go bald you . . . lose something you've chosen. DIAMOND (connecting with pain) YES. No one tells you because you'd be scared out of your mind. (moaning) You're in mourning for your life. DIAMOND (CONT'D) I was so strong for 25 years. So I'm grieving for that, but now there's less stress, cuz I've had time to reflect. VLADMIR What troubles you. DIAMOND The only stress I have is . . . financial. Can we really pay for this rent? Maybe half on the rent. VLADMIR (fierce, mad abruptly) Thank you. Compensation won't be discussed now. You're weak, lie down on my velvet sofa over there, stretch out. TAKE AN HOUR. I need to see Blue. (beat) |
