The Reluctant Vampire

Time: June 15, 1881, four a.m., full moon.

Setting: The action takes place in St. Louis Cemetery No. 1, New Orleans and the astral plane between life and death.

Characters:

• MARIE LAVEAU — Créole Voodoo Priestess. Intense but sensitive, she seems in her 20s but is much older.
• CHRISTIAN — Creole Vampire, elegant but anxious, dressed in full evening attire, scarf, cape.
• FANTÔME — Mature Créole Vampire, exquisite but vicious.

CHRISTIAN (Horrified, angry): I just got another summons. (Violent cramping) How many times do I have to say I won’t bite a human? (Neurotic) I’m not sure I’m still a vampire.

FANTÔME (Defensive, malicious): Look in the mirror. (Pulls out pocket mirror) Do you see an image?

CHRISTIAN: Nothing.

FANTÔME: You’ve no soul. And you’re starving. It’s been a year since I bit you.

CHRISTIAN (Terrified): I’m not going to drain someone and have them die or turn into a vampire. (Gagging, pounds chest) I won’t be responsible for murder.

FANTÔME: You can’t keep draining animals. Rats, pigeons, snakes. Such blood doesn’t synthesize. And you drink too much. You’re rigidifying, becoming paranoid.

CHRISTIAN (Violent cramping, angry): Then stay away. Go back to Paris.

FANTÔME: Most vampires drain humans within 24 hours of transformation.

CHRISTIAN: Dead blood doesn’t last. I need to relax away from you.

FANTÔME: But we’re compatible and we need to continue our love, in all its fecundity.

CHRISTIAN: You women vampires don’t let up.