Broadway or Bust

Script Excerpts
By Rosary Hartel O'Neill

CHARACTERS
6 MULTI-RACIAL ACTORS INCLUDING:
SUSAN—a breast cancer survivor
JOHNNY—an alcoholic
Team 3 CHORUS GIRLS—also survivors
INTERVIEWER—hardened to pain (in room but not onstage)

SETTING
An empty stage, the Cherry Lane Theatre, New York, New York.
At Rise: we hear something like, 'Remember The Time,' by Michael Jackson.

An actor in Civil War attire, JOHNNY walks over to SUSAN, an actress dressed like a cat in ballet attire. Both hold audition sides.

INTERVIEWER (Vicious): You have 15 minutes for this third call back. Couple no. 2 you're on deck.

(SUSAN continues ballet warm ups.)

JOHNNY (Panic): Wanna dance?

SUSAN (Terrified): First position. Second position. Third. My costume's too tight.

JOHNNY (Scatterbrained, blinded): What are you?

SUSAN (Paranoid): I'm a cat.
(Fixes her bodice, annoyed)
I always wanted to be a cat. F.U. I'll do it if I feel like it.

JOHNNY: They said to dress like a bunny.

(JOHNNY fights to hold her.)

JOHNNY: It's a love scene. Must be a paranormal if the guys are in military duds.

SUSAN: Stop! I don't know what your issues are, but you're crazy.

JOHNNY: I've an ambitious, conceptual framework for this audition.

(His heart races. He grabs her with clammy hands.)

SUSAN: Don't; let me focus. (Chants) Ma, may, mee, mo, moo...... This could be my last chance for Broadway.

(SUSAN grasps her bra strap, pushes up a pad.)

JOHNNY (Angry): We're scene partners.

SUSAN (Freaked): Don't stress me. (Chants) Ne, nee, no-oh, nuuuuuu

JOHNNY: Something speaks to you about the scene I got to know.
SUSAN: Ba, Bay, Be, Bo-oh, Bu,

(A song bursts on, something like 'La Mer,' by Chantal Chamberland.)

(JOHNNY scared, tense, his body movements sharp as he dances. SUSAN refuses, adjusts her cleavage, does ballet moves)

SUSAN: Who's sending out that music?

JOHNNY: There's this click of powerful technicians that have the door closed.

SUSAN: Ka Ka Ka, Fa, Fah-

JOHNNY: We're supposed to dance to whatever they play.

SUSAN (Blurts out): Music's the wrong period... for the sides.

JOHNNY: Anachronistic, but folks are watching.

(He pulls her abruptly on the floor)

SUSAN: Oh my god, out there in the theatre. I didn't see--
I go to an audition, I go from it's good to omygod what's happening here, to it's god awful.